Busy Nothings

It’s difficult making yummy tasting stuff without sugar, and add lactose intolerance into the mix and it’s even more difficult–especially when you want cheesecake! Well, last night I made little dairy free, sugar free cheesecakes and they’re absolutely yummy!! Here’s how I did it:

I used foil baking cups and put a South Beach peanut butter cookie in the bottom of each one. Then I made filling using a pkg of Tofutti Better-than-Cream-Cheese, 1/2 tsp. stevia powder, and a little vanilla. I baked them in the oven at 325 for 35 min. Then I topped them with sugar free cherry pie filling. The result was absolutely yummy and only 10g of whole grain/natural fruit carbs. My hubby just loves them!! The best part was eating yummy cheesecake completely guilt free!

Oh, and on a side note, our Ghost Shrimp had babies! They’re about the size of a cookie crumb and they’re really cute!

My brother sent me this link this morning. Who woulda thunk it?

Personal struggles are never easy, and triggers for the pain those struggles cause seem to be everywhere. Our struggle with infertility is no exception. Everywhere we go, without even looking, there is some reminder of the pain we feel of wanting so desperately to be parents and not understanding why that blessing is being withheld from us.
Sunday was an example of this. I was sitting at the organ bench, shortly after the first verse of the second hymn, when in walked a family with their two children and their newborn baby girl, only a week old. I’m not sure I could describe the jolt of pain that went through me right then. I remembered immediately a potluck Lenten supper earlier this year where the grandmother of the children was telling everyone how her daughter was embarrassed and humiliated that she was pregnant again. They were taking two birth control steps to prevent a pregnancy, and she did not want a third child. I’m sure as the months past her attitude changed towards her unborn baby, but the sting of that reality–that someone who didn’t want another baby could so easily get pregnant even while trying to prevent it–was reawakened when I saw them with their new baby girl.
We continue to pray and pray and pray for the blessing of a child, and still my arms are empty. My husband, who used to get excited about the possibility, now avoids going near a store’s baby department because it is too painful. We witness parents who verbally mistreat or neglect their children in the stores and immediately judge them as being unfit parents. There is a fine line between sin in our reactions and the pain that comes with infertility. So far we’ve found that avoiding anything to do with pregnancy and babies is least painful and the surest way of avoiding those sinful pitfalls. I have a wonderful friend at church who feels the same pain and who has been married 20+ years as opposed to our 6. She’s been a blessing to me, showing me how life does go on and can be just as rewarding without children, although I continue to pray that won’t be the case with us. We’ve also been daily reading from this book which has helped immensely by assuring us that we are not alone in our struggle. For now we cling to the hope that someday we will be parents and keep praying for a child.

To me and my hubby–It was eight years ago today that my best friend’s brother was taking me out for a drive in Juneau–showing off a little in his truck as guys usually do–and got stuck. What was so significant about that? I felt so bad for him I held his hand and he didn’t take it away! That night at Bible Study all I could think about was how I had to talk to him and find out if he was as crazy about me as I was about him. He sure was–and still is! I can’t believe it’s been eight years already! And I still get all mushy over him!

My husband and I are making payments towards debt (not including mortgage) that total a third of our income. Although we budget for food, entertainment, gas, etc. we still find ourselves living paycheck to paycheck and our savings dwindled to almost nothing with each additional medical bill, even less since our bank charges us monthly for having such a low balance. It’s really hard to live this way. We hardly go out anymore because gas is so expensive and dining out is quite spendy. Plus there are so many things we need. So I’ve decided we should go further in debt and get another credit card. Maybe two. That way we can have everything we need and do all the things we want to do, and we’ll just worry about where the money will come from later. I suppose we could cut things out of our budget, but we’ll worry about that later–no need to make those decisions now. Even though we are fed and clothed we can eat better and have newer, better clothes and worry about where the money will come from later.
Yes, that’s what we’ll do. No? That sounds ludicrous to you? Bad stewardship, perhaps? The delegates’ decision to disregard the recommendation of the Synodical Conference and keep MLS open have done just that. They’ve elected to keep MLS open in hopes the money will come in (again) and haven’t considered a very basic question: What is the best stewardship of our resources?
To go further in debt should NOT be an option at this point–or at any point, really. Yes, we can have synod-wide fund drives and shift the responsibility of the money issue from the indebted synod to God by saying “God will provide–this is a ministry, after all,” but the fact of the matter is that God HAS provided–what have we done with it?
My husband and I can go further into debt and claim “God will provide” or rely on more students or a job reclassification, but that’s not good stewardship of our resources now. If the delegates want to keep MLS open, then why didn’t they go further and investigate where the money would come from? Why not make suggestions to alter the proposed budget? From the outside looking in, this whole decision seems like an emotional one, not a practical one. If the ALHSs did not offer a curriculum similar to LPS or MLS, I might think differently about keeping MLS open, but the fact is they do. My brothers and I all went through an ALHS. I was in a teacher track, at the time getting ready to go to (D)MLC. My younger brother took four years of Latin and 2 of German (as well as other classes) in preparation to go to MLC. My older brother, who was in neither, was the first graduate of MLC’s Staff Ministry program. Both our parents were synodical school graduates–Dad from Northwestern Prep, Mom from MLS. They knew I wanted to be a teacher and my brother a pastor, but never once did I hear them mention maybe I should consider MLS or MLPS (still open at the time) for a better, more thorough ministerial education. I mentioned it, even went to visit the campus, but it didn’t offer anything the two ALHSs I attended didn’t offer. And closing MLS doesn’t limit that opportunity–we do still have Luther Prep, which isn’t near full capacity. Not to mention the other 22 ALHSs which have really seemed to have gotten short-changed in this whole decision.
I read a comment that made the point that the Great Commission is to “Go and make disciples” not “Go and make pastors and teachers”. I personally would rather see our mission field expand once again and if closing MLS demonstrates better stewardship of the resources we already have, I can’t understand why this decision was made. Have we completely lost sight of why we’re on earth to begin with?