…to me and my hubby. The ten years have just flown by since we got stuck at Auke Lake in Juneau. That was the first day we were technically “together”–both of us realizing and expressing our feelings for each other. I still get sappy when I think about it. Who knows what would have happened if he hadn’t decided to “show off” in the truck and drive down that boat ramp?
I can hardly believe PJ is 6 months old already! What a cutie! She’s almost crawling now, backwards is no problem, going forwards is the challenge. She’s been teething for 3 months and still nothing, but we can see all 4 front teeth coming in. She’s managed to find a lot of cables and cords I never knew we had and LOVES to push buttons and turn knobs on the receiver. She is quite the little bundle of blessing!
I had no idea that infertility baggage does not disappear with the birth of a long-awaited baby. I am learning to just go with the flow, not really sure what each milestone will bring. Today was one of those days. The first couple Mother’s Days after we were married weren’t so bad. We were trying, but weren’t really concerned. By the time the 4th, 5th, 6th, and 7th Mother’s Days came and went I had learned to avoid them and anything to do with them (other than call my own mother, of course). I skipped church because the emphasis was on mothers. Didn’t go shopping because I was tired of people wishing me a Happy Mother’s Day when I had no kids in tow. Well, I didn’t realize that “unblocking” it wouldn’t come right away either. Instead I’ve spent the day thinking about friends who are still waiting for that blessing, praying for them, hoping they wouldn’t have to wait much longer. It was over 7 years of waiting, praying, doctors, tests, more doctors, more tests and that seemed like an eternity. In the meantime our siblings seemed to get pregnant over and over and over again, each time a painful reminder of what we didn’t have. Then there were those we knew who got pregnant too easily, who weren’t married, or who didn’t want to be pregnant. How could God be so unfair? We attempted adoption, but the door was quickly closed when medical bills and car repairs drained our adoption savings. So I bottled up my emotions and avoided Mother’s Day.
This year I couldn’t do that, nor did I need to. But it’s been hard to let myself have a Mother’s Day. The emotions have been up and down today–loving my baby, thinking about those who are still longing for theirs, praying that the Lord would bless them with children to mother. Maybe next year their wait will be over. I’ll just keep praying.
Our baby has been dealing with some diarrhea issues. Since I read on our pediatrician’s site that viruses usually run their course by 14 days, I waited until Sat. before calling the doctor. They told me to bring her right in and determined her symptoms warranted some lab tests. Since they use the lab at the hospital that is NOT our preferred provider, the nurse scraped a sampling into a specimen jar and we ran it to the lab at the hospital that is our PP. Later Sat. evening a lab tech, we’ll call her Melanie, called saying there wasn’t enough for all the tests ordered and we needed to bring in another sample. She said we could just bring in a full diaper in a Ziplock bag, so I packed up a ripe, juicy diaper in a bag and took it to the lab Monday morning. Because we were running short on time, I dropped my hubby off at work and planned to pick him up at midnight. When I got home there was a message from another lab tech, we’ll call this one Sherry, saying the diaper was unacceptable and they had to throw it away and we needed a specimen in a special bag. I called the lab, very upset by this time at the thought of having to make another 40+ mile round trip to the hospital and talked to the lab manager, Dave. He said Melanie should have never told us it was okay to bring in a diaper in a baggie and to come in and he would give me a specimen bag and handle this case himself. So we drove back in, picking up Grandma on the way, picked up the specimin bag and attached it to PJ’s butt (poor thing—to have a bag taped to your diaper rash!), went to Target for fun and waited for her to poop. At 9 I collected the specimen from a very tired, crabby baby and we drove back to the lab. Before leaving I wanted to make sure it was collected correctly and there was enough for the tests. Dave (the manager) had one of the techs look up the order in the computer, only to find that the tests had been marked completed!! By now even he was frustrated and said he’d get the original orders and find out what test was missing and why they needed more, and instructed the tech to call Melanie. That’s where things were left at 9:30 last night, still haven’t heard anything. Poor PJ, and poor, frustrated, really PO’d PJ’s Mommy!!!
Okay, just to clarify, I would NEVER in a million years advocate formula feeding over breastfeeding except, in cases like me, where the mom’s milk just isn’t enough.
That disclaimer said, I have found a few advantages:
1. I can leave her with hubby and go to Michaels. And JoAnn’s. And then back to Michaels.
2. I can take a nap when Grandma comes over on Grandma Wednesdays.
3. I get to sleep at night because my hubby gets up to feed her. 
4. She can wolf down 4 oz. in about 10 minutes then take a 2 hr. nap.
and… my current favorite…
5. I can drink a glass of wine when I have horrible pain!!
Oh, and this past Friday was the first time I bought formula and didn’t feel like crying as I put it in my cart. That’s progress!
PJ is 7 weeks old as of yesterday–I can hardly believe it! Of course, between the pain meds and the sleep deprivation I don’t really remember the first 3. It has been an emotional roller coaster. Not just having a new baby, but the unexpected challenges of a C-Section and painful recovery, low milk supply (we made it 2 days short of 4 weeks), and a dog that took over a month to really “adopt” her into the pack. I’m still fighting feelings of inadequacy because I REALLY wanted to breastfeed! I really wanted a natural childbirth, too, but I got over that quickly when I realized the doc saved both me and PJ from going into labor only to find out we needed one anyway. The inability to breastfeed is tougher to get over, even though I know it’s not my fault and one of the effects of infertility and hormones being all wacky. It’s definitely a grieving process.
PJ’s thriving despite the formula and has developed a schedule you could set a clock by. She goes to bed by 9 without a problem, sleeps well in her crib and only gets up twice a night, she’s not fussy or demanding, just cries when she’s hungry and overtired. She loves being out and about and watches everything. I’m so thankful for a mellow-tempered baby. She loves everyone at church and lets anyone hold her, which my church family loves. At least once a week Grandma comes over to hold her and give me a break, and even Izzi’s crazy barking doesn’t bother her. Overall, motherhood is a pretty wonderful blessing!!
Wow–what an incredible week it has been. I am back home now, my little daughter was born Jan. 22. I am so thankful my doctor was able to foresee the dangers if I had gone into labor. She determined during the surgery that my spine curves inward over my pubic bone, so there isn’t enough room for a natural birth. We’ve really learned to expect the unexpected and if the Lord blesses us again, we’re just going to go with the flow and not plan anything! The most challenging thing has been the dog. Izzi is constantly barking every time the baby makes a peep, and has really shown quite a bit of jealousy and irritation that she’s no longer the center of attention. I’ve been told to sleep, feed, and eat and let everything else go for a while. I’m so thankful my hubby’s home to do everything else and let me just focus on sleeping and feeding, and eating occasionally when I remember to. What an awesome reason for sleep deprivation!!
Just wanted to fill you in on what’s going on with Baby. We had our appointment with the doctor yesterday and the baby’s pretty much let us know she’s not coming out vaginally. Her head is resting on top my pelvic bone because she just doesn’t fit, and the doc said if I were to go into labor the placenta and umbilical cord would come out before she would. Dr. Merkouris said I have less than a 1% chance of delivering vaginally, so she scheduled a Cesarean for this evening for the safety of both of us. I’m a little nervous about the surgery to say the least, but we’ll take our baby girl any way we can get her! My hubby will be with me in surgery and then follow the baby to the NICU where they’ll warm her up, bathe her, warm her up again, then bring her to me. I’ll get to see her for a brief moment after surgery, but won’t get to hold her for about an hour and a half. After nearly 8 years of waiting, I can handle an hour and a half!
We would appreciate your prayers. We are so thankful our doctor will be doing the surgery and her PA-C which we’ve gotten to know very well (half our appointments were with her) will be there assisting. Billie Jo (the PA-C) had her 2nd baby C Section and we’ll have the same surgery team that she personally requested for hers, so we’re in good hands. Recovery will be longer, but thankfully Hubby’s taking 3-4 weeks of paternity leave to take care of us. We’re also really emotional and excited about the fact that she’ll be born on what would have been her Grandpa Ruddat’s 65th birthday. It’s just all amazing and incredible–I’m kind of in a fog right now!!
Our due date’s in 4 days and still no baby.
On the plus side, our temps have gone up 60 degrees in the last week! We were at temps of -20 for several weeks in a row, and the last 2 days it’s hit 40 and above! I know it won’t last but it sure is nice!
We’re about 2 wks from our due date now, just waiting for these contractions to be the real thing!!
We were in line at the deli counter and the clerk asked “Are you two together?” My husband quickly replied “Almost 8 years now.” The clerk smiled at us and said “Awww!” My heart just melted.
Our church threw us a very generous baby shower on Sunday. There are a few big items that we registered for at Babies R Us that the money we received will cover, so we decided to make the most of the system instead of just using the cash at the store. Here’s what we did:
1. Deposited the cash in our checking account, then made a payment on our airlines credit card for the same amount.
2. Went to the grocery store which offers 125 airline miles for every $250 spent, plus 10 cents off fuel reward for every $100 spent.
3. Went to the in-store “gift card mall” which during the holidays gives double fuel rewards for every $100 in gift cards purchased.
4. Bought a total of 5 $50 Toys R Us/Babies R Us gift cards using our airlines credit card. This gave us 250 miles from the card itself plus 125 miles from the grocery store. Total: 375 airline miles.
5. Gave us 3 fuel rewards for a total of 30 cents off per gallon next time we fill up.
Best of all, we don’t really see any difference on the credit card or in the bank! This is why I’m the queen of bargains!
It’s interesting how every year the anniversary of my Dad’s going home to heaven has a different emotional impact. This year the excitement of having a baby is shadowed by Dad not being here to share it with me. In some ways 11 years seems like a long time, in other ways it feels like yesterday we spent his last days with him in the hospital.
Usually singing hymn 399 in the CW which we sang at his funeral and which usually brings me to tears was overshadowed by the emotion singing “For all the Saints” last Sunday (we happened to sing both then). Perhaps because we’re studying Revelation in Bible Class the joy of heaven after this earthly life is in the forefront of my mind this year.
There are still things I can’t do that remind me of Dad, and some days I miss him so much I can’t stand it. But I would never wish him back to this earth when Heaven has such wonderful things in store!
Since being pregnant I’ve heard everything under the sun as pros/cons for either a natural childbirth or using an epidural block. My husband and I attended our first childbirth class this past weekend and Martha, the nurse who taught the class and has so many certifications I couldn’t keep them all straight, did an excellent job presenting everything in a non-biased way so that we as parents could make our own decisions. She’s been certified childbirth educator for the last 12 years, she’s a lactation consultant, doula, has worked as a hospital and birthing center nurse, and now heads up the maternity floor at the hospital. She medically described what goes on with an epidural and systemic drugs and really clarified my questions about that. I’ve done research on the internet, but hearing from a nurse that is up on everything current was much more informative.
First of all, she told us that anything written before 2007 is pretty much outdated. In fact, as far as labor meds and info goes, so much progress has been made that some of last year’s material was already outdated. Glad I didn’t waste the time checking out books at the library! Epidurals have improved so dramatically that very rarely do the problems occur now that occurred 5 years ago. And some things that have been attributed to epidurals aren’t a result of epidurals at all! Take for example the claim that epidurals cause long-lasting back pain. Within the last year they’ve discovered that when an epidural block is administered, nurses tend to be rougher with the moms. So when the time comes for mom to push often nurses will push the legs back so far and so fast they essentially throw out the mom’s back! So when the epidural wears off, mom is in so much pain and her back is thrown out it takes months or years to recover from that. Martha gave strict instructions to the husbands to make sure their nurses are gentle and showed them how far the legs should be pushed up and NO FURTHER! Interesting find. Another thing she told us is that a very small amount of the epidural is released first to make sure it’s going in the right place and no adverse effects occur. That’s lowered significantly the number of occasions where it goes up into the nerve center of the spine instead of where it’s supposed to go. She said that compared to 5 years ago, those instances have also been dramatically reduced. Then she showed us exactly where the epidural is placed and how it’s a block, not a pain med. That means that it does NOT enter the blood stream and does NOT get to the baby so if the baby comes out groggy it’s not because of the epidural.
Which brings me to systemic drugs which DO enter the blood stream. She said in the last couple years doctors have been less and less inclined to encourage systemic drugs because of that and because they are very short-lived. She said systemic drugs are hardly used anymore, at least at our hospital.
Now that I feel so much better informed, I’d rather do it without the epidural. Not that I’m afraid of the dangers of the epidural, but that since I spent two weeks in the hospital with my dad before he died tubes and machines freak me out. I’m not afraid of the needles, I just don’t want to be hooked up to a bunch of machines. The other big reason is I’m not a person that can stay in one position very long–I’d rather be able to move around. Those two reasons trump any labor pain for me. I realize everyone’s different and each labor is different, which really helps. I like statistics over asking individuals their experience because I’ve found everyone has a different story and opinion. I’ve only heard one really bad epidural story, and that was from a birth 30+ years ago and if so much has changed in the last year, I can’t begin to imagine how much has changed in the last 30! I want to give birth naturally, but it’s nice to know the epidural block will be there if I need it.
I also know that if the Lord blesses us again with another baby I’m taking the class again just to find out what’s changed!
We may become an Obamanation, but at least we get our governor back.
I can hardly believe we’re in the third trimester already! We’re in week 28 and measuring right on schedule. Baby’s kicking away and regularly scheduling gymnastic and kick-boxing practices. I haven’t blogged much about it and haven’t taken belly pictures mainly because I’m still sick most of the time! Just when I think it’s getting better (like the last couple days) I have an intense nausea attack and run for the bathroom (like this morning at 5 am!) The doc said at the appointment today that I’ve got one of those “sick all the way through” pregnancies. It’s sure made me anti-social. I know time will just fly by now with the holidays and before we know it, January (and baby) will be here.
…to my boss. I don’t know when we started doing Boss’s Day and Secretary’s Day, but it’s sure a lot of fun! This year I got my boss a big bottle of vodka from Costco. Wish I had a pic of the smile on his face.
I found out today that I have magic socks. I took a pair off by the washer downstairs a couple days ago because they were wet (we have snow here already). Today, magically, one of them found their way up two flights of stairs to the middle of the living room. That’s what happens when we don’t put up the “Izzi Gate”.
P.S. The Magic Sock has now flown up another flight of stairs to the dining room.
Today marks baby’s 25th week and at the doctor’s today we were again reassured that all is well. Nothing like hearing that strong heartbeat!
A coworker of my husbands who he’s now dubbed the Fairy Godmother, took me shopping at Babies R Us this past weekend. The Lord has given her a generous heart and apparently I’m not the first new mom she’s spoiled. Her grandbabies are coming for 5 days and she asked me to go shopping with her and pick out what I wanted because after they leave she’s giving all the stuff to us! She bought a Pack N Play with a changing table which will be great to have upstairs, a high-chair, an excersaucer, sheets and blankets for the Pack N Play, a couple toys, and a set of onesies and 3 little baby outfits. We are so thankful to her! What a blessing!!
Some parents want their kids to grow up to be doctors or lawyers or corporation executives or at least some profession that makes a good living. My hubby and I decided months ago to aspire for our baby to have a similarly lucarative, probably equally dishonest, career. We’re hoping for pirate. Great retirement plan, lots of free rum, Carribean cruises whenever we want (despite the rather rough accommodations), I’d get my pick of jewelry for every occasion. simple dress code, and have I mentioned the free rum? Sure, finding a uniform during the year at any time other than Halloween might be a problem, and there’s always the issue of the high on-the-job mortality rate, but thankfully I’m a seamstress and we have a gun range close by for dad to teach his thing. We’ll just have to make swashbuckling part of our homeschool curriculum. Anyway, what better day to let the job training begin than on Talk Like a Pirate day!